What have I turned out to be? Post motherhood combined with not working professionally - my entire focus shifted on the home front. Cleanliness at home became next to godliness. I would hear my husband remark a few times – leave it. Why are you always washing or cleaning. On a much awaited Friday night I would often find myself thinking on what had to be done first thing on Saturday morning. Up until a few years back during my ‘oh-so-amazing’ single days my list of things to do would be either of the following:
1. NOTHING
2. Wake up at 9am and after a quick bath head out for a blast of a day (my Bombay days)
3. Wake up to a wonderful morning to head for a leisurely walk with folks followed by some hot breakfast (my Bangalore days)
However now my list ran somewhat like this:
1. Wash vessels
2. Wash shirts
3. Wash baby clothes
4. Patio clean
5. Clean house
6. Dusting
7. Vacuum
8. Grocery
I never thought much of it till I one day while getting the lil’ one to sleep I was flipping the pages of my scribbling book. I noticed pages after pages with the same notes. It was the above list of things to do. And this was the same list that would run my head on a relaxed Friday night.
I still did not think much of it till I had taken an appointment with a lady to come and clean my Bath and shower room. This was an extensive job and I did not have that kind of time in hand. So the date and time was fixed for a Thursday. I was happy. On Wednesday night I slept well. I dreamt of a sparkling shower room. I woke up early and finished making lunch. I cleaned the house and kept looking at the time. The appointed hour was 8am and I dint want to miss her. I told my lil one that when she wakes up she will get to see a fresh Bath and shower room. I checked and rechecked the area. Was it too dirty? What will the maid think? Shall I leave it the way it is or should I clean it a bit? I then went and checked myself out in the mirror. What would she think of me? Did I look alright? I set the house quickly. Dusting and all. I arranged cups to serve coffee for her. I scrambled to get it all done before she came. I often find myself running short of time and hardly get any time for myself – but in my mind this had to be done.
The clock struck eight and I looked at the door. I expected punctuality. Like she might just be waiting outside the door eagerly waiting for the clock to strike the magical number eight so that she could come to clean my ‘oh-so-magnificient’ Bath and Shower Room. Anyway- the clock then moved to quarter past eight. No knock still. (There are no calling bells here in Johannesburg.) I was anxious. Surely I had not missed her. I bent under and strained my eyes through the gap in the door to see if I can see any shadow outside the door. Maybe she knocked very feebly and I dint hear it. This despite the fact that I was standing right beside the door all the while. I wanted my Bath and Shower Room clean and like the way Ryk Neethling the South Africa Olympic Swimming Champion said before the start of his race “For nine months I had visualized this happening: getting ready, standing on the blocks, blasting off”, I had visualized having the maid over at my home to clean the bath room from the day she agreed to come (which was a week ago).
It was quarter to nine by now and there were no signs of her. I began to get slightly tensed. Why did she stand me up? Why was she not here? I dint even mind her coming late as long as she came. I checked my mobile twice to see if she was trying to reach me. Damn! She dint even have my number. Will she never come? I was disappointed and dejected. I was even angry. How could she do it to me? I remembered what my dad had told me when I was young – “Expectations bring disappointment” Of course; it was said in a particular context. But I thought it was so true. I was tempted to call him long distance and tell him that that his words were so true. I was sulking.
Well – its 10am and of course she has not yet come. But thanks to her – I realized how obsessively passionate I had become about having the house clean. I was here behaving like a child denied of her much awaited outing or more so a young lady being held up by her first date!!!....... What have I turned out to be?
So – as realization dawned, I vowed not to get head-over-heels in love with cleaning and all that is associated with it and after a good nine months found this quick hour to put this piece down. I am feeling so relaxed and rejuvenated. It’s a nice feeling.
But hey…wait a minute…who will clean my Bath and Shower Room now? Looks like I got to go!!!
This might not be the ideal piece for a blogsite – I mean why would someone want to chance reading about my shower room story – but if a blog reflects one’s state of mind – then sadly this IS the piece. Enjoy!
